Jess

I nab rabbits from evil people. By day I'm a graphic designer turned Law student, an advocate of surrogacy & US adoptions, & frequent FF lurker.
I lost my smile around 10am and my patience at 3pm. With means all that's left is fire-breathing dragon. #nocoffeetoday
What's worse? Writer's block or root canal? Writer's block or death by spider? Writer's block or the golf channel? (I vote writer's block)
golf channel - RAPatton
I've been trying to write a 500 word law article for 4 hours! I don't have 4 hours. I miss writing fiction =( - Jess
WHY can't I just keep a straight face when trying to deceive my husband? (seriously, for a fun anniversary use http://www.pantyonthevine.com)
Is anyone else concerned that it's possible to make a serving of cake in the microwave in 45 seconds? My hips are terrified.
Wish Google Maps had a 'don't route me through the ghetto' feature.
Or give you an option to bullet proof your car before sending you on that route. - Brent - Yes I am
My law professor posted a math equation to figure out my midterm grade. This resulted in both a heart attack AND a continuing blond moment.
OH (after a romantic comedy): her: "What, don't you like happy endings?" him:"Oh, yes honey, I LOVE happy endings". Boys just don't get it.
I think he does. - Anika
Can't. Stop. The hiccups. Help!
I. HATE. The hiccups. - RAPatton
Am thinking it's alcohol related. After 3 weeks of no booze, then a night of wine tasting, I think I'm three sheets to the point of no Tums help (but I'll try). - Jess
Gotta love sitting IN a restaurant and not being able to check in because you're 'too far away'. Thanks @yelp.
Court affirms Florida gay adoption ban is unconstitutional (fingers crossed to make this legit!): http://jacksonville.com/news...
As my fertility doctor eyes my right ovary with a hopeful outlook, I can't help but think "oh no, my future kids can NOT be Republican!"
They can - RAPatton
,-) - Jess
Strike 1 on project baby. Wonder if the powers-that-be got the text that I'm incapable of giving up?
“Never, never, never, never give up.” -- Winston Churchill - RAPatton
Fitting quote. I'm telling people that it's clear I am destined to mother the greatest president that ever lived and evil forces from other side are trying to prevent it. I will prevail, if it kills me! (it's SO time for Fringe to start again) - Jess
When I was a child, my mom heard that every man wanted their son to be president; she asked my father and he said, "Yes..... of the NFL" - RAPatton
Day 1 of 10 of THEY'VE TAKEN MY COFFEE AWAY!! The wise Earthlings will avoid me.
Coffee is for the WEAK! - RAPatton
Posted via email from procrastinator - Jess
Did you bring enough for the whole class? - COMPLICATED MR. NOODLE
It is that time of the semester where I must reinstate nap time. On your mark, get set, zzzzzzz.
Someone please explain to my snacky study fingers that if I eat a batch of Funfetti cookies, I am essentially eating an ENTIRE cake.
Doc says: "I see you're studying law. Paralegal school?" I automatically respond: "Nice car. Small penis?" Schmuck.
Cupcake shops invoke feelings of hope & happiness...until I walk in & find creations I can make from a box. Boo. Make me something wild!
I've yet to find a dilemma a coconut martini can't fix.
Not an effective way to start a new diet: - http://jessicarabbit.posterous.com/not-an-...
Posted via email from procrastinator - Jess
Not an effective way to start a new diet: http://jessicarabbit.posterous.com/not-an-...
Sharpie performed a miracle one step short of solving World hunger with their new pens. And now they've CHANGED their fabulous product. No!
"Always introduce the pink elephant in the room" has special meaning when discussing cases involving randy judges and illegal porn.
Not sure how women survive months of pregnancy. I've been med-induced fake-pregnant for a week & feel fragilely homicidal.
That's about it. - Alex Scrivener
Please persuade me why I should let this creature live...want to smoosh him and all his friends: - http://jessicarabbit.posterous.com/please-...
Posted via email from procrastinator - Jess
You mean your severed arm will haunt me? ;) - Bren
Please persuade me why I should let this creature live...want to smoosh him and all his friends: http://jessicarabbit.posterous.com/please-...
Reading a case where a man covered his infidelity by saying he used the condoms in his wallet for making turkey calls, not sex. Awesome.
There is a gargantuan spider in my kitchen...and it's either him or me. (will somebody come get him, pretty please?)
Told the nice cop who pulled me over that the Crim Pro book on my seat was for my police academy test. Going either to Hell or jail.
This is how you cope with a group of 12 year-old dance-happy girls. (Here's hoping my future children are boys): - http://jessicarabbit.posterous.com/this-is...
Posted via email from procrastinator - Jess
This is how you cope with a group of 12 year-old dance-happy girls. (Here's hoping my future children are boys): http://jessicarabbit.posterous.com/this-is...