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Jess

I nab rabbits from evil people. By day I'm a graphic designer turned Law student, an advocate of surrogacy & US adoptions, & frequent FF lurker.
Jess
I dearly love mojitos but they severely inhibit my productivity.
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Jess
58 people in line at the post office. Miss Attitude blatantly cuts in front of me, smirks, & drops her keys. What would YOU do?
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Say "Excuse you, but the line is THAT way" and point out the obvious - Shevonne
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I once had someone actually come up to me (I had made it to the front of the line) and declare that he was in a BIG hurry and would I just be a sweetie and let him go next. I indicated everyone behind me in line and said, "I wouldn't presume to speak for the other 15 people in line, so if you show me that everyone else in line has given you permission to cut in front of them, then I'll CONSIDER it." - vicster.
Jess
Just can't wait to get a professional license so I can make people wait in my office for an hour & expect them to be happy I showed at all.
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Jess
Tabbing my recipes 'Birds' 'Pig' "Fish' 'Fancy Cow' and 'Not So Fancy Cow'. Must save all my political correctness for the living critters.
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Jess
After seven years of marriage I've mastered the auto-defense of 'No honey, I did TELL you. You must not have been list...en...ing'.
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Jess
Free WiFi makes me much kinder. So much so I don't even want to strangle the @starbucks flunkie ordering in front of me. As much.
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sometimes you need to do the things that you don't want to, so straggle away. Do it for ... the children! - RAPatton
Jess
I'm working hard on creating a sloppier signature. My current one is just too damn neat for the legal profession.
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Jess
No. It is NOT okay to 'get on the road' and drive a little before stopping for coffee. This is how divorce happens.
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Perhaps it was lacking, and instead of subjugating you to it, E wanted to forage for java worthy of his bride - RAPatton
You should be in sales ,-) - Jess
Jess
RT @JessicaGottlieb: Iranian mother of two to be stoned to death - http://www.cnn.com/2010... Hashtag #Ashtiani and please don't stop talking about this.
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Jess
Just witnessed the impossible: a $49 bill at White Castle. Yeehaw!
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That's a lot of sliders and chicken rings - RAPatton
Jess
I've OD'd at least twice on quality family time this week. Time to start clicking my ruby red slippers.
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There's no place like Jacksonville doesn't exactly fall off one's tongue - RAPatton
Jess
Lakehouse poker with a newbie. I should just hand over my chips and call it a night.
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Jess
Just witnessed a horse do something a grown horse should never do to another horse in public. Unrelated, I need a faster camera shutter.
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Jess
After centuries of daughter vs mother-in-law drama I find it hard to believe no one has invented a space vortex in which to escape.
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Well there is akka-hall... - MoTO Boychick Devil
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Then don't let her *catch* you baby doll - MoTO Boychick Devil
Jess
I don't want to alarm anyone, but if you go by the fiction bookstand, vampires have taken over the world.
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Jess
You know what I can do right? Absolutely nothing. I can do nothing right. (T-minus 1 day till family *vacation* and I'm already having fun)
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Please, you do so many things well and I am certain this *vacation* will turn out ok - RAPatton
Jess
Tonight's strawberry moon is the color of, well, strawberries! Is your moon redish-pink?
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We are blessed with thunderstorms this night, but no crimson Luna - RAPatton
Jess
Mint may become an endangered species tonight. #mojitoparty
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Jess
In the great race between a Pirate Ship, my jet ski, and an overzealous, grinning dolphin, my little jet ski won!
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Jess
Playing dress-up and going to court ,-)
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Jess
The man wants a rare Oingo Boingo DVD. This he tells me merely hours before his birthday. Men suck at time management.
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They perform in Back to School, so get him a Back to School DVD - RAPatton
He wants their last performance....the Halloween one. I've found copies, but I want a DEAL on a copy ,-) - Jess
Jess
When you accompany your mother-in-law to church. RT @krug95: When is it appropriate to wear blue eyeshadow?
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Jess
Lightning struck my AC unit. Florida summer with no AC. This is what I get for making fun of the Touch Down Jesus strike.
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Snicker - RAPatton
Jess
RT @sfappeal: Confiscated Bunnies *Still* Ready For Your Love, Affection, Food And Shelter http://sfappeal.com/news...
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Jess
Just drove past the charred Touchdown Jesus and it's surrounded by lightening rods. Makes even a skeptic go hmmm.
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You are back in the OH-IO? - RAPatton
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I don't live in Dayton, my parents do, but I was there yesterday. - RAPatton
Jess
Lakehouse poker: "Do you know what a pair is?" "Yes. A fruit." - http://jessicarabbit.posterous.com/lakehou...
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Posted via web from procrastinator - Jess
Jess
Lakehouse poker: "Do you know what a pair is?" "Yes. A fruit." http://jessicarabbit.posterous.com/lakehou...
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Jess
Makings of the perfect marriage: I 'take care' of lizards and snakes. He DESTROYS anything with more than 4 legs.
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A good marriage is based on the division of crushing your enemies - RAPatton
Jess
I own all the necessary gadgets to be book-free. But I just can't shake the urge to hold the book, feel its weight, and turn the page.
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Jess
The person who posted pedestrian-flow directional signs at Jacksonville airport must be British. Don't expect the blonds to comply.
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Jess
Too bad you can't reply with a (small) electrical shock ,-) RT @eclipse115: Oh dear god, someone sent me an email in Papyrus
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Danger! High Voltage! - RAPatton
Jess
Does anyone else give up prime parking space to avoid white child-molester type vans? Or have I read too many crime novels?
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