Why do mothers judge one another and their parenting? - USATODAY.com - http://www.usatoday.com/news...
May 25, 2010
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Alfredo 亜瑠布れっど,
Ordinarybug Heather,
chaz2b,
Scoble, Alex Scoble,
Kol Tregaskes,
Micah,
Aviv,
Morton Fox,
RAPatton,
Stephen Mack,
Ashlee Adward,
Lysender,
Steven Perez,
John (bird whisperer),
Steve and 4 other people,
Jennifer Dittrich,
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Rochelle
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I think we're all judging all the time, that's just how people are.
- Stephen Mack
What Stephen said.
- Rochelle
You are more likely to judge those people on things you believe you have expert domain knowledge over
- RAPatton
I've noticed that I judge the most in areas where I myself want to change. So, for instance, I'll judge my spouse about some parenting issue I don't think he's doing "right", but I think the underlying goal is to remind myself that I want to avoid that same behavior. When I recognize that, I stop judging and start focusing on myself.
- Laura Norvig
I think I judge because I want to educate but don't know how to do it without being offensive. There is so much misinformation out there and people who truly do not know things that I want to tell them but there's no way I can say things without coming off as rude. Instead of trying to figure out if I should/could help, my default seems to be to just quietly judge and move on. I guess that's probably for the best since people generally don't like unsolicited advice but it's frustrating at the same time (especially when it comes to child safety things - not just variations in parenting styles).
- Rochelle
I agree with Robert. Sadly, there are a lot of people (not just parents) who think they know everything about child-rearing. The only time it's an issue is when someone sticks their nose in. Not all kids can be reared the same and sometimes there's other circumstances. Know-it-alls should stay silent unless the child is in serious danger at that exact moment.
- Anika
I do judge, but try to keep my mouth shut unless asked for advice. I of course, believe that my parenting style is the best (or why would I do it) but try to understand that it's not the only way to raise children and to each their own so what goes on in my head doesn't usually come out of my mouth. Because I surely don't want others parents doing that to me. With that said, I totally agree with the article in that we surround ourselves with people who have similar parenting styles. I feel lucky that friends of ours before we were parents are even better friends now that we all are parents because we tend to share similar beliefs and styles which leads to a great support structure.
- Kelly W.
Frankly, I think there'd be a lot less of this sort of thing if more people told these kinds of people to shut up and go away. People only feel free to interrogate perfect strangers if they think they can get away with it. Would you criticize someone if you thought there was a chance they'd punch you in the face for it?
- Ciaoenrico
Bill, I agree. That's such a ridiculous question. 4 week old babies are not supposed to sleep through the night!
- Rochelle
haha it's like some big thing though-sleeping through the night and a test on how good you are as a parent...NOT
- Kelly W.
I think Laura hit on what most criticism like this is about. The things that a person has the stronger emotions about are usually the things they have the most personal struggles about, and are internally critical of themselves. Seeing the thing they personally feel is a fault in others feels like an opening to try to correct it, even if it is not truly a fault for the other person. Parents are especially prone to this because there is so much pressure, internally and externally, on being a "good" parent. For some more examples of complete strangers stepping in where they are unwanted regarding parenting, check out http://www.thatbabylookscold.com/.
- Ragani Harris
Website above is great.
- Joe