Arrived in #LasVegas an hour ago, already drinking. What a great town.
Apr 5, 2015
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Ciaoenrico
Give me liberty, or give me food. Or kill me.
The Universe was created just to piss me off :(
Apr 5, 2015
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BTW, everyone in Tucson messaging me to say Tucson isn't shitty, check Google Maps - you're not actually in Tucson.
Apr 3, 2015
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Of course, Tucson is no tropical island. It's more like... well, Tucson. (Tucson is my usual example of shittiness.) #LastManOnEarth
Apr 3, 2015
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When I first heard of the film "Castaway" I also said, "So he lives on a tropical island where no one yells at him ever? #LastManOnEarth
Apr 3, 2015
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#LastManOnEarth is such a sad show. A guy lucky enough to have everyone die off, only to have that tranquility ruined by more idiots.
Apr 3, 2015
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Since childhood I've hated #Easter. Being a grown-up and an #Athiest keeps me out of the LONGEST Catholic service of the year. Yay me!
Apr 3, 2015
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#HouseOfCards seasons review: Season 1: Yeah! Season 2: Meh. Season 3: Huh?
Apr 3, 2015
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Van Halen puts a curse on Ted Templeman to force him to produce their hard rock song. https://www.youtube.com/watch... #YachtRock
Apr 2, 2015
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Today's the best day to kill yourself. When they tell friends and relatives, they'll say, "No, wait - really?" for days. #AprilFoolsprank
Apr 1, 2015
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Today is April 1st - isn't that Lame Bullshit People With Poorly Executed Practical Jokes Day? Oh no - it's just #AprilFools. My bad.
Apr 1, 2015
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Apr 1, 2015
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RT @pittgriffin: #BoycottIndiana I'm confused. Besides gays wanting to buy cakes, what are the threats to Christianity in the US?
Mar 31, 2015
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Mar 31, 2015
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So does anyone have any hilarious, horrible shit I can/should tweet as my boss with his old account? This is too fun!
Mar 31, 2015
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I love that they had to finish up #TheWalkingDead this week, because they couldn't end it on #Easter - the ORIGINAL zombie holiday!
Mar 31, 2015
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What's even funnier is he didn't keep his OLD Twitter name! And now I do, along with YEARS of Twitter links to it! ROFLMAO Thanks stupid!
Mar 30, 2015
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My former boss who was fired for idiocy & incompetence FINALLY found my joke Twitter account using his name! Welcome to the party, idiot! :D
Mar 30, 2015
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You can't really say life is a cruel, unending misery. Because eventually you die! So kiss my ass, life! I'll win eventually!
Mar 30, 2015
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RT @georgetakei: I know Gov. #Pence wouldn't buy any of these goodies, but look what these good Christian teens did! #BoycottIndiana https://cards.twitter.com/cards...
Mar 27, 2015
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Arizona Lawmaker Suggests Law Requiring Attendance at Church http://blogs.phoenixnewtimes.com/valleyf... Careful what you wish for. http://t.co/5dIuAS7LVI
Mar 27, 2015
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Aloof Schipperke
liked this
Watching a great show on Netflix called #MagicCity. Apparently it was originally on something called Starz, whatever the hell that is.
Mar 26, 2015
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Oh how I miss you, @PoutineVille!
Mar 26, 2015
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RT @bipartisanism: If you don't want your tax dollars to help the poor, stop saying you believe in 'Christian values.' #TedCruz2016 http://t.co/Y8JaJOde6s
Mar 25, 2015
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Mar 25, 2015
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I hate computers. Screaming, "I JUST WANT YOU TO DO WHAT I JUST WANT YOU TO DO!!!" really should work. http://t.co/OZD0LKGcua
Mar 24, 2015
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Finally watched the #Glee finale - and they finally sang #ABBA! https://www.youtube.com/watch... Going to miss that show.
Mar 23, 2015
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At store. John Denver "Sunshine on the Water" playing. Must not get violent. HATE JOHN DENVER. MUST... NOT... KILL...
Mar 22, 2015
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Jennifer Dittrich
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Aloof Schipperke
liked this
#Twitter = brevity. #Facebook = two full paragraphs about a story from your life I could give a shit less about.
Mar 22, 2015
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LOL - How did I miss this the first time around? https://www.youtube.com/watch... Joss Whedon On Romney
Mar 19, 2015
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