Dear News Sources: If you tweet links to content that's behind your paywall, you're getting unfollowed.
Jun 25, 2014
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Dave Roth
Common sensei, critic-at-large, and father of Disaster Girl Meme's Zoe, and her lesser-known brother, Disaster Boy.
Really tried to enjoy some World Cup. Sincerely. It's like trying to fake an erection.
Jun 25, 2014
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Hookuh Tinypants
liked this
My brother-in-law lives < 2 miles from an In-N-Out Burger. Looks like I will never be bored on my visit.
Jun 25, 2014
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.@trevorcarpenter I got a Fuji point-and-shoot back in 1990. Loved that camera. Enjoy!
Jun 25, 2014
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As a country, it is a luxury to be truly horrible at football.
Jun 24, 2014
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I want personal Doppler radar mounted on my house and car. Get on that, science!
Jun 24, 2014
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"I'm against reading. Reading creates thoughts, thoughts create opinions, and now we have an asshole on our hands."
Jun 24, 2014
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My fitbit #Fitstats for 6/23/2014: 18,398 steps and 9.5 miles traveled. http://www.fitbit.com/user...
Jun 24, 2014
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.@JohnClarkABC11 Of course it should. The real question is; Should medical marijuana be illegal in North Carolina?
Jun 23, 2014
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.@JonSaia Are you not in Brazil for this?
Jun 23, 2014
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Brouwer Breakfast Burrito https://twitter.com/Traveli...
Jun 22, 2014
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I've been trapped by a thunderstorm in a beer store. Just damn.
Jun 20, 2014
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Loud pipes save lives, which is why trains never crash. Oh, wait. . .
Jun 20, 2014
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.@mel_ball @kevinbrouwer Need a picture of Zoe, holding a picture of Disaster Girl, in front of the wreck. #mebane #amtrak
Jun 20, 2014
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I don't tweet my runs, but if I did, this morning's would be "Woooo, that felt AWFUL!"
Jun 18, 2014
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My fitbit #Fitstats for 6/17/2014: 1,875 steps and 0.9 miles traveled. http://www.fitbit.com/user...
Jun 18, 2014
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.@phillprice Based on my twitter, we are. (Not me, of course.)
Jun 17, 2014
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My fitbit #Fitstats for 6/16/2014: 111 steps and 0.1 miles traveled. http://www.fitbit.com/user...
Jun 17, 2014
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I blame sports. http://t.co/O0C4rF3cCH
Jun 16, 2014
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Beer in a can. At the beach. That's enough. - Drinking a Shift by @newbelgium @ Salter Path — http://t.co/v3e0vMgmC8 #photo
Jun 15, 2014
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I hope my kids always love the beach as much as they always have. http://t.co/1ZmQzzXWoW
Jun 15, 2014
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.@NBCPhiladelphia Impossible. Nothing futuristic comes from Pennsylvania.
Jun 14, 2014
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.@NBCPhiladelphia Her name is Kelly Clarkson.
Jun 14, 2014
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.@trevorcarpenter If you say they're alright l, I'll take your word for it.
Jun 14, 2014
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.@notnixon Simple Minds' version is awesome, but lacks young pseudo-lesbianism.
Jun 14, 2014
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.@notnixon …all the things she said running through my head running through my head RUNNING THROUGH MY HEAD #tatu
Jun 14, 2014
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.@trevorcarpenter @SportsNetLA Are Dodger Dogs as nasty as their reputation?
Jun 14, 2014
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.@itskinseyboo #humblebrag
Jun 14, 2014
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My fitbit #Fitstats for 6/13/2014: 3,353 steps and 1.5 miles traveled. http://www.fitbit.com/user...
Jun 14, 2014
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Outdoor beer on a spring night in Carrboro. How could it be bad? - Drinking a Tank 7 Farmhouse Ale - https://untappd.com/user...
Jun 13, 2014
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"The truth is that most 'tats' are ho rrible, because most people have horrible taste."
Jun 13, 2014
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How funny is it that Al Sharpton can't read?
Jun 13, 2014
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