"“How did you learn to do all this?!” The ancient Spider-Goddess Llorothaag came to me in a harrowing blood-soaked vision. In exchange for perpetual servitude as her handmaiden, she imparted knowledge of IP subnetting." - Jessie

"inexorable agent of destruction" - that's kind of perfect - MoTO Boychick Devil

"“Most girls aren’t into this kind of stuff.” No way, do you have the list? The list of things most girls are into? I’ve been trying to find that thing forever, can you forward it to me? You have my email. Thanks, man, you’re the best." - Soup in a TARDIS

"“But—you’re way too nice to be a lesbian!” If the other lesbians that you’ve met have seemed like they were being assholes to you, I MIGHT have a theory as to why." - Soup in a TARDIS

"“See, that’s the great thing about you, I know I can tell ‘offensive’ jokes around you and you won’t care.” It’s less that I don’t care, and more that I’m keeping up a stoic facade to conceal my elaborate plan for revenge. This plan begins with making fun of you on the Internet." - Soup in a TARDIS