"The flow chart of whether African food can give you ebola is pretty simple, actually: the answer is NO YOU MORON. Nevertheless, the fears of an ebola epidemic have hampered business for one African restaurant in particular, Mama Ti’s African Kitchen in Brooklyn Park, Minn. So much to the point that the owners are trying to cover the “African” in the name and change everything to American food. Oh Americans, ruining it for all of us. From Twin Cities’ Fox News: “Now they’re even afraid to shake our hands,” [owner Kellita Whisnant] says. “Just putting that tape up there triggered emotions that I keep down, but that really hurt.” … The restaurant is now considering the possibility of changing the entire menu from Liberian cuisine to American deli food, just to survive. “What could I bring in at this point to satisfy your fear,” Whisnant questions. “Will you come in and eat out of this restaurant if I sell philly cheese? If I do jumbo wings and fries?” Chapter “We’ve Lost Count” in Ways Americans Have Been Dicks and Hurt People Everywhere." - Eric - Final Countdown