Aug 14, 2012
from
Aryn Corley
Humor Columnist
My sister in law is throwing a prom for her 40th birthday. I'm gonna go in a zoot suit.
Aug 13, 2012
from
Defying expectation, Mitt Romney has chosen Paul Ryan as his VP running mate instead of Nosferatu. #GOP
Aug 11, 2012
from
Nice pic! RT @navarrotells: A four Domain Model for Detecting Deception - antiquated but helpful http://au.af.mil/au...
Aug 10, 2012
from
I'm really bummed that Hacky Sack isn't an Olympic sport. #olympics
Aug 10, 2012
from
RT @awintory: Soft spoken, humble, deeply reflective and so articulate. John Williams remains the master: http://wamc.org/post...
Aug 8, 2012
from
Not the police blotter! Way to go, my friend. RT @awintory Here's the link: http://www.latimes.com/enterta...
Aug 8, 2012
from
Thanks to the Internet, everyone is famous for at least 250MB. #truth
Aug 7, 2012
from
There's nothing quite like drinking a bunch of O'Douls, then going and getting a henna tattoo. #wildside
Aug 6, 2012
from
Aug 6, 2012
from
I liked a @YouTube video http://www.youtube.com/watch... Journey - Gameplay Walkthrough Part 6
Aug 5, 2012
from
It's Capitalism! RT @ladygaga: make sure when writing about my new album/project ARTPOP that you CAPITALIZE the title...
Aug 5, 2012
from
My Juvenile Units are laying siege to Newark International Airport. They think the conveyor belts ate an amusement park ride. #oyvey
Aug 4, 2012
from
"Karaoke" is a Japanese word. It means "tone deaf and drunk American". #true
Aug 4, 2012
from
We just saw Roberta Flack coming out of The Dakota. #NYC
Aug 3, 2012
from
RT @mental_floss: 12 Shockingly Shameless Knock-Off Brands — http://www.mentalfloss.com/blogs...
Aug 1, 2012
from
I'm sitting with my Juvenile Units, in New Jersey, watching Spongebob Squarepants. #allgood
Aug 1, 2012
from
At the airport in Newark, New Jersey. Yep. On purpose.
Jul 28, 2012
from
Every four years we are treated to a collection of sports that nobody really likes. #Olympics
Jul 28, 2012
from
Huh?
Jul 28, 2012
from
Watching @pennjillette on "Friends" re-run. #Nick@Nite
Jul 25, 2012
from
Somewhere there is a woman named Wendy King McDonald... and she hates hamburgers.
Jul 24, 2012
from
A "serving size" is 10 chips. Yeah. If you're a Smurf!
Jul 23, 2012
from
Hummus has a soothing effect.
Jul 22, 2012
from
Trees are down all over San Jacinto county. #Texas
Jul 22, 2012
from
My tan is so dark, when I fly TSA frisks me twice!
Jul 22, 2012
from
Jul 22, 2012
from
Jul 21, 2012
from
I liked a @YouTube video http://www.youtube.com/watch... Baboo News Scene Compilation
Jul 19, 2012
from
No Hablo Inglés. RT @ShellisPrepared PLEASE DO NOT RETWEET ANY OF OUR TWEETS. They are intended for their @ recipients only!
Jul 18, 2012
from
My wife killed a snake today. Perhaps SHE should have been in the Garden of Eden. #genesis #gimmedatrib
Jul 18, 2012
from