Today's press release: "TiVo Announces Quantum DVR -- Enables Consumers to See Into the Future / Quantum gives viewers the ability to record and watch future TV content"
Stephan Planken,
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From the release: "SAN JOSE, CA – April 1, 2015 -- TiVo Inc., a leader in the advanced television entertainment market, today announced the most significant achievement in the history of visual entertainment. The television viewing experience will never be the same thanks to TiVo Quantum. Watching previously aired, recorded television will be a thing of the past, Quantum will give consumers the control to view anything their heart desires – days before it actually airs."
- Stephen Mack
"Imagine a world where the future is now just as accessible as the past. TiVo’s Quantum technology is a complex derivation of special relativity. By compressing future events into a time packet and sequencing them into a point just prior to the present, TiVo customers are able to skip ahead to binge watch from the future, perfect for those that go without access to their recorded TiVo content for long periods of time due to work travel, vacations and time spent with the kids instead of in front of the TV."
- Stephen Mack
" 'We wanted to give TV fans the ultimate viewing experience and a glimpse into the future without a psychic in sight,” said Ira Bahr, SVP, Chief Marketing and Retail Sales Officer at TiVo. “If you know in advance you won’t be able to catch the next few episodes of your favorite show, there currently is no way to pre-load your TiVo so you can catch up ahead of everyone else. We are putting the power in the hands of the consumer, giving them the control to record what they want, when they want.' "
- Stephen Mack
"Don’t want to wait two months for your favorite show to come back, no problem! Just skip right ahead to get the scoop. The company is currently working on a related product to keep viewers of future TV from spoiling shows on Twitter and Facebook. TiVo knowingly understands the implications that its new technology has, but is willing to risk altering reality to bring its customers what they want, when they want it."
- Stephen Mack
"Availability: Starting today, TiVo Quantum has been rolled out to all TiVo models. Simply turn on your television and prepare to be wowed. Visit www.tivo.com/aprilfools for more information."
- Stephen Mack
*Spoilers*
- bentley
Did y'all see that episode of Rick & Morty where Rick built a machine that could watch TV from parallel universes?
- Andrew C (see frenf.it)
Andrew, isn't that what good fanfic is for? Heck, isn't that what crappy fanfic is for?
- bentley