A billion dollars extra for the 2010 U.S. Census, which is going to pay many jobless people in every American town — and shore up Lockheed-Martin, which is getting $500 million to build the data systems and run the machinery. $75 million for FBI employee salaries, because why would you want to pay America’s top cops to do law enforcement and investigations, in America? $500 million for Mississippi River flood control projects, which would employ thousands of laborers and keep dozens of construction companies in business, because nothing makes Republicans happier than seeing a Katrina repeat on the TV every other hurricane season. $200 million for green vehicles on U.S. military bases and $600 million to replace the federal fleet of cars with hybrids, because only a gay communist could see the economic benefits of $800 million in sales for U.S. auto manufacturers while simultaneously cutting the government’s gasoline bill by billions per year. $1.4 billion for rural garbage-disposal and recycling - Phil Boiarski