Woke up this morning feeling wistful about my Dropbox not automatically receiving uploads of the photos I take in my dreams.
Aug 14, 2014
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Buying a Bob Ross painting is antithetical to the spirit of Bob Ross. You just paint one. He already showed you how.
Apr 21, 2014
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Too bad the @49ers didn't get rid of Chris Culliver when his deficient character was evident but had not yet become criminal and deadly.
Mar 30, 2014
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Of course Gwyneth Paltrow's divorce announcement reads a smidgen humblebraggy.
Mar 26, 2014
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In case you didn't know, Ben Roethlisberger just had a daughter. In case you're wondering, he named her "Baylee."
Mar 21, 2014
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Chinese New Year is often referred to as "Lunar New Year" because it's the anniversary of when the Chinese invented the Moon. #Fact
Feb 11, 2013
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Imagine watching the game with Mike Singletary on the couch next to you. #Awkward
Feb 3, 2013
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We could run statehood like we're the English Premier League: this year, Puerto Rico gets promoted and Florida gets relegated.
Nov 8, 2012
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Even if he loses, big ups to Mitt Romney for running a 6-year Presidential campaign WITHOUT CAFFEINE. #RESPEC
Nov 7, 2012
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True SF moment: eccentric street fellow debating, with himself, the relative merits of Joe Montana and Randall Cunningham. #phillymomenttoo
Nov 3, 2012
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If two candidates have a debate and the audience was too bored to listen, did anyone win?
Oct 4, 2012
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Let us all now celebrate like Eric Chavez has forgotten how. #You'reInALWestPennantCountry
Oct 3, 2012
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I fail to feel wistful, mournful, or disappointed when Adam Duritz sings that "it's all a lot of oysters, but no pearls."
Jul 21, 2012
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This shift is sucking maddening.
Jul 20, 2012
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How do I teach my stupid lucking Android phone that, when I type "luck," I really DO mean luck, and not "luck"?
Jul 20, 2012
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"Girl, I'm not sure if I want to sex you up, or love you down, but, either way, it's gonna be all night."
Jul 2, 2012
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If you know what Jesus believed, 2000 years ago, I guess you must know what the Founding Fathers believed, 200 years ago.
Jun 29, 2012
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After extensive clinical testing, the empirical evidence says I have no business singing Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam's "All Cried Out."
May 26, 2012
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The Warriors moving to SF is not that big a deal to me, unless it entails the loss of Red's Java House, in which case I must say: stay.
May 22, 2012
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If the "liberal media bias" actually existed, then reading Paul Krugman would not be such a bracing sanity check.
May 21, 2012
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KFC selling chicken pot pies for $3.99 means I can buy my complete dinner for $11.97.
Apr 12, 2012
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"You don't need earrings. You have beautiful tits."
Apr 1, 2012
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Riding a bike is like riding a bike.
Mar 23, 2012
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With what degree of success and for how long can one expect to use "I'll bet you $10,000!" as a non sequitur sort of punchline?
Dec 29, 2011
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Black Friday coming after Thanksgiving is like having Ash Wednesday followed by Fat Tuesday.
Nov 25, 2011
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Just saw Alex Smith lining up at the mall to buy Isotoner gloves for all his offensive linemen.
Nov 25, 2011
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Powerpoint on a Saturday night. So wrong.
Nov 13, 2011
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Agreed: "You can't listen to Dio Sabbath. It's gotta be Ozzy Sabbath." #fuckyourstupidbar
Nov 11, 2011
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Facial hair identity politics: Ed Lee gets San Francisco's most coveted endorsement -- that of Brian Wilson and his fearsome beard.
Oct 25, 2011
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FYI: Apocalypse on eastbound San Mateo Bridge. You'd be better off swimming.
Sep 17, 2011
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How does one explain Vietnamese sweet bean dessert drinks to a Romanian?
Sep 13, 2011
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Just came across a 2006 blog post in which I expressed super-amped-ness about getting a 115 Kbps Internet connection through a phone.
Sep 13, 2011
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