"Though most kids are reared on maxims like "Never tell a lie," people who commit to total honesty in every situation are a rarity. Many of us lie to some degree, typically to avoid provoking conflict in relationships. "People don't want to hear the unvarnished truth—we're putting on weight, the new dress we bought looks terrible," says Robert Feldman, a University of Massachusetts psychologist who studies deception. "So we learn that it's appropriate to withhold the truth sometimes." Similarly, many people fudge details about their lives ("I wasn't just sitting on the couch. I applied for three jobs today!") to duck the discomfort that comes with not meeting others' expectations." - Lit

"Shading the truth has its share of social advantages, so why do a few rare individuals insist on honesty at all costs? In some cases, straight shooters may be a product of the family environment they were raised in, says Victoria Talwar, a developmental psychologist at McGill University in Montreal. In a study examining children's moral development, Talwar found that parents who do not talk about the importance of preserving other people's feelings are likely to raise offspring with a blunt relational style...Many truth tellers opt for honesty because lying seems too complicated or makes them too anxious. Liars have to remember to keep their false stories straight. A University of Portsmouth study found that liars usually pause more often in their speech, for example, and some people blush profusely when they lie. Being a blunt truth teller, on the other hand, "is really easy," Talwar says. "You just tell it as it is." In some cases, truth telling may be a byproduct of the way the brain is structured. People with Asperger's syndrome, for example, are extremely forthright because they have a limited capacity to understand the social repercussions of their blunt honesty." - Lit

"Adopting a straightforward attitude can change your life and relationships for the better—as long as you use the truth wisely: 1) Weigh the specifics. Ask yourself whether telling the truth has real potential to improve a less-than-ideal situation. If someone you know is engaging in self-destructive behavior, for instance, airing your opinions might be more helpful in the long run. On the other hand, if you detest people on your team at work but know there's little chance of getting reassigned, it's probably best to keep mum. 2) Zero in on the other person's motive and address it. If an acquaintance blindsides you with an inquiry like "I'm your best friend, aren't I?", don't resort to the quick fix of telling a lie. Instead, parry with a reply that teases out the questioner's true intent: "Are you feeling lonely these days? Should we get together more often?" 3) Tell the truth to build rapport. Should you confide to a friend that you've had plastic surgery or that you once lusted after your ninth-grade science teacher? You don't have to, of course, but DePaulo says people willing to disclose slightly embarrassing truths are likely to have deeper, more intimate personal relationships." - Lit