WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
Hami
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Plato: For the greater good., Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.
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Hippocrates:
Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its pancreas.
Jacques Derrida:
Any number of contending discourses may be discovered within the
act of the chicken crossing the road, and each interpretation is
equally valid as the authorial intent can never be discerned,
because structuralism is DEAD, DAMMIT, DEAD!
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Nietzsche:
Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes
also across you.
Oliver North:
National Security was at stake.
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Carl Jung:
The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that
individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and
therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.
Jean-Paul Sartre:
In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the
chicken found it necessary to cross the road.
Ludwig Wittgenstein:
The possibility of "crossing" was encoded into the objects
"chicken" and "road", and circumstances came into being which
caused the actualization of this potential occurrence.
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Albert Einstein:
Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the
chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
Aristotle:
To actualize its potential.
Samuel Beckett:
It got tired of waiting.
Buddha:
If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-nature.
Albert Camus:
The gods had commanded it to cross and recross the road.
Winston Churchill:
It was moving into broad sunlit uplands...
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Salvador Dali:
The Fish.
Darwin:
It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.
Emily Dickinson:
Because it could not stop for death.
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Epicurus:
For fun.
Ralph Waldo Emerson:
It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.
Richard Feynman:
Surely it was joking.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe:
The eternal hen-principle made it do it.
Ernest Hemingway:
To die. In the rain.
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Werner Heisenberg:
We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it
was moving very fast. Saddam Hussein:
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite
justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
Orwell:
All roads are crossable by all chicken, but some roads are more
crossable than others.
Dostoyevsky:
After having killed an old hen, the chicken was wandering deliriously
along the empty night streets of St. Petersburg and waiting for the
darkness that never came; he crossed Nevsky and after a while found
himself in an unfamiliar part of the city.
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nasreddin hodja: What if it happens
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